I have been remiss in my reading of the Churchillian. I really should pay more attention, as I did not know that Pam's party was my send-off party! I'm always the last to know.
So
here's the latest pix - Jackson Hole skiing, etc:
And description: (edited for profanity)
First thing; a beginner's telemark lesson - just to see. Gentle glissading through the trees. No sweat, I figure. Soon I find myself going up, up, UP (in blinding snow!) a series of 3 lifts, where everyone (but me) seemed to be wearing helmets.
(After 2 runs on the bunny slope, I somehow lead the instructor to believe I was ready for this.)
Next thing I know, I'm trying to follow this guy down through trees in ever deepening powder and soon I'm up to my chest in it, struggling. I hear a distant voice, "Are you O.K?"
Now my skis are submarining and I'm sliding, slowly, under tree branches which are pushing me under and I'm struggling - drowning in it! But it's a slow death - in a funny kind of way, so I start laughing which only worsens my situation. And I'm doing all this at what, 8,000 feet?
Well, after two and a half hours of this nonsense, I sulked back to my room, a sweaty, frazzled bundle of caked-on snow and ice, and slept for 2 hours! I was so beaten and disheartened that I couldn't even use my lift ticket for the rest of the day.
Next day I traded in my telemark skis for snowshoes (now THIS I can do!) and I managed to hike alone all they way over to Granite Canyon and back, tracking a moose and again often digging myself out of chest deep powder several times.
Day three: I'm so friggin' exhausted I don't know what to do, so I sign up for a Yellowstone snowmobile tour. How hard could it be to drive a snowmobile? Next thing I know I'm flyin' through Yellowstone at 50-60 mph on this thing, leaning into turns, flying over bumps just like my old dirt-biking days! One woman gave the controls back to her husband after 20 minutes saying she couldn't hold on any more. And we traveled 160 miles that day! Friggin' exhausting.
As an aside - near the beginning of this tour when I'm still getting used to the "slippery" quality of this machine, we are winding along a steep canyon doing maybe 40 - and I think, "Gee, I hope I don't lose control of this thing." Just then we pass a fresh cut - a snowmobile sized slash on the side of the road leading right out into the canyon and I think, "*&%$!" When we stop I ask our leader about the slash in the snow and he sighs, "Yeah, some guy lost control of his sled yesterday. Fortunately, he knew to jump off before it went over."
Gulp!
Now I've got 2 days left to ski and Sam's voice is echoing in my head, "There aren't any greens." and "The blues are really black." But then I DID manage to get down ALIVE in skis that don't have the heel attached, so I bite the bullet and strap on a pair of alpines, figuring how hard could it be, right? I'm nervous and I feel foolish - but I click in and - hey! This is better!! Next thing I know I'm half way up the Apres Vous chair throwing my bra in the bra tree. (Put the others to shame, if I say so myself.) In 48 hours I skied every blue run on the mountain.
Observations:
1- Telemark is HARD. Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise!
2- There's SNOW on the slopes! (How novel!)
3- The runs are WIDE.
4- I had them to myself.
5- If you can ski New England, you can ski anything!
I suppose if I skied more than once every 5 years I'd do better, but hey, I did Jackson Hole!! :-)
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COMING FIRST WEEK OF APRIL:
The dreaded 60th wedding anniversary cruise with my parents and family.
Full report later, if I survive.
-Barry
